Over the last 15 years in helping over a thousand men and women overcome depression, suicide and family violence, it has come to our attention that many of these social challenges stem from relationship breakdown. We are all in a constant relationship with ourselves and others whether we are at work, home, in our community, social gatherings, sports, or school.
Every interaction you have in life depends on your ability to relate. Your ability to feel good about yourself and your life, therefore, depends on how well you are relating with yourself and with others. This is also the key to happiness and personal wellbeing.
The biggest impediment to achieving happy and fulfilling relationships are unresolved emotional responses. These may include anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness among others. We feel triggered many times a day, more often when we have other issues going on that we don’t know how to resolve.
Our emotions often make us react in a negative manner when there is nothing we want more than to be able to stay calm and be responsive!
We have been conditioned since childhood to ignore or suppress our emotions to make us more acceptable to others. This very act keeps us feeling separate and isolated from others. So what can you do about it? Empower yourself and your relationships with the Emotional Reset Technique.
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) Provides an intelligent way to express your thoughts and feelings from an empowered state without being overwhelmed. Rather than react when you are feeling triggered, the Emotional Reset Technique gives you the ability to respond because you are able to feel calm and think clearly.
Benefits of ERT:
Neutralises anxiety and other strong emotions
Instantly removes emotional resistance and feelings of separation
Reduces feelings of being triggered
Prevents controlling and reactive behaviours
Enables clear. calm and inspired communication
Eliminates feelings of isolation and loneliness
Provides clarity to resolve other issues
Enables a clear sense of moving forward in life
Aim of the Emotional Reset Technique
To stop the cycle of violence toward ourselves and others by controlling our emotional triggers. This is the key to effective communication in relationships.
You can utilise the “power of the pause” created by the Emotional Reset Technique so you don’t become defensive and make excuses because you are triggered.
An argument can be brought on by a clashing of ideas, not feeling heard, feeling disrespected, feeling judged, feeling accused, feeling put down, feeling unappreciated and can arise in moments unexpectedly and that are not the best time to have a discussion.
Arguments drain energy and usually end up in a negative situation with a negative outcome for all concerned. Sometimes, devastating things are said and done in the heat of the moment that you can regret for the rest of your life.
He ora te Whakapiri, he mate te whakatariri. There is strength in unity, defeat in anger
Application of the Emotional Reset
1. Resolve:In resolving the triggered emotional response, it will allow you to naturally reset your point of focus into a more neutral, calm and aligned perspective so you have time to feel and think clearly. Expressing your thoughts and feelings from an empowered state instead of feeling overwhelmed is the most intelligent and effective form of communication.
2. Respond:The best way to respond is to act from a place of safety, calm and power. By preventing your mind from over analysing and reacting to situations, you are now able to respond in the most appropriate manner when triggered from an internal or external event.
3. Respect:Continued application of the Emotional Reset Technique gives you the confidence to live a life of respect to yourself and others which leads to mental and emotional peace and well being. This helps prevent family violence, addictions, depression, violence, bullying, harassment, isolation and suicide.
You will feel so much more empowered when you communicate from a space of being calm, honest and truthful. The hundreds of people we have already helped with this technique speak of how powerfully connected it makes them feel. This is beneficial in the treatment and prevention of anxiety, depression, addictions, suicide, family violence, bullying and various forms of harassment.
“This technique makes me feel like I have super powers! My partner and I have very different parenting styles and this caused a great deal of arguments. I always felt resentful that her kids weren’t pulling their weight and her daughter and I were always triggering each other into arguments. They wouldn’t listen to me, nor would they respect anything I had to say.
I’ve been consistently applying the technique when I’ve felt triggered over the past few weeks and it’s incredible how different I feel - and the kids are now responding and listening to me! My partner keeps looking at me like she’s trying to figure out what’s different. I feel so much more relaxed and at ease."
Development of the Emotional Reset Technique
The Emotional Reset Technique (ERT) has been a work in progress over 15 years. Two sides of the process have conjoined over the last 2 years when Kerry Babbage - Life-crisis and Relationship Specialist and Jacqui Olliver - Psychosexual Relationship Specialist commenced working together and developing the technique. Jacqui, a recognised authority on solving the emotional and sexual issues which contaminate relationships introduced the idea of resolving emotional triggers. Kerry, with more than 30 years experience in personal growth, crisis and trauma around relationships had developed the principle of cognitive reprogramming.
Kerry and Jacqui have worked extensively over the past two years in developing the Emotional Reset Technique to help people improve relationship dynamics and diminish the suffering and negative outcomes from emotionally triggered situations. The Emotional Reset Technique will be provided together with MATES Facilitator training and other online programmes from the Life Education Initiative, as well as a membership programme to further empower individuals and couples in developing and enhancing their personal growth and relationship potential.
What Does the Emotional ResetTechnique (ERT) Help With? ERT has proven to be beneficial in treating and preventing these common issues:
Feelings of isolation
As an example, David was trying to give up smoking but couldn’t get past his great emotional need to have a cigarette. In the past, he had been sent to counseling after being caught smoking marijuana. He described that drug as being the only thing which made him feel good as a person. When that option was taken away from him, he wondered at the craziness of it and had said to his parents, “You mean you’re taking away from me the only thing which makes me feel good and makes me want to live?”
After years of counseling, the Emotional Reset Technique enabled David to immediately regain his sense of self and personal empowerment so he didn’t need external validation or his previous addictions:
“I was shown this technique to deal with a personal issue. It was also suggested I apply it whenever I felt the need to smoke cigarettes. Within two days my cravings were gone completely! And now I don’t feel the need for alcohol either! I can’t believe how relaxed and at ease I feel. It feels good just being me.”
David (18 years old)
It’s not the method of the addiction, but the underlying hurt and sense of disconnect that needs to be addressed, because this is what makes the person reach for a better feeling. The Emotional Reset Technique itself, neutralises the emotional response and brings your brain into an empowered state. In this empowered state, there is no need for a dopamine hit and you immediately feel relaxed and at ease.
The Emotional Reset Technique is Saving Relationships Chris was 5 years into a new relationship. Right from the start, he developed a tumultuous relationship with his partner’s oldest daughter, age 15. The constant tension, arguments and stress between them was driving a wedge into his otherwise happy relationship with the girl’s mother. He constantly felt triggered and was always on edge in his interactions with her. He sometimes dreaded going home because he couldn’t seem to help himself from over reacting when he felt triggered.
“This technique has so many applications. I thought that my awful relationship with my partner’s daughter was going to destroy our own relationship. We just couldn’t get along. I started applying the Emotional Reset Technique and so far it has worked! It’s made it easy to get along with my step daughter and the best thing is that it’s improved my relationship with my partner too.” Chris G
The Emotional Reset Technique is an essential step for resolving the issues which are contaminating your relationships. Combined with the Life Mastery Membership programme and supporting phone app, this complete method can reset your relationships and your life to succeed on autopilot.
“The Emotional Reset Technique helps generally with life problems. I find it quite simple and effective and I know it will become more natural for me. Thanks for your very clear and helpful guidance. It has made a big difference to my confidence.”
Where Can I Find Out More? Mates Organisation is currently promoting the release of Jacqui and Kerry’s breakthrough new online programme: The Emotional Reset Technique - Unlock Your Happiness. Pre-order today to access special discounted prices and notifications of upcoming Emotional Reset Technique Book, Mobile App and Life Mastery Membership.
For more information about the Emotional Reset Technique and for support with your relationships with others and yourself, please visit our other website www.relationships.org.nz
MATES TRUST NZ is a Registered Charitable Trust: RN CC 44541